My spiritual journey began in 1980. I was the pastor of a small church in Wheaton, Illinois, and I served on the staff of a national youth organization. I enjoyed a great deal of success and my work was extremely rewarding to my ego. But inside, I was growing increasingly restless.I felt enslaved by the life I was living. I yearned to grow and learn in ways I had not done before. My soul wanted to soar and discover new knowledge. My quest for knowledge showed itself in an increasing distance in my family life making me question its future.

I was also frustrated as a leader in a church and its subculture, seeing a great deal of nominal, almost superficial Christianity around me. Many Christians I knew seemed content performing religious duties while devoting most of their energy to pursuing their own interests.

God did not abandon me in my despair. He took the initiative, as He always does. He presented me with an opportunity to begin a spiritual journey. He soon placed another leader, Bill Leslie, who described his own spiritual dryness and pattern of being entirely drained. As he spoke, my heart craved more. Bill told of his turning point visiting a Catholic retreat center called Cenacle. After confessing his exhaustion, one of the sisters told him, “the pipe of your soul doesn’t go deep enough.” He understood. What was needed was a spirituality based on a direct encounter with God. He needed to “sit at Jesus’ feet.” And I realized, so did I. So began my my journey into the presence of God.